I just put Linus to bed wearing nothing but a hat. It's a sort of of a knit cap, dark blue. He's been going through a thing where first he didn't want to wear his pj top, then he didn't want to wear his pj bottoms, only underpants. That lasted about a week. Now he doesn't want to wear anything. I think it's because he has a fleece blanket and he likes the way it feels on his skin, but I'm only guessing. He kicks the sheet and comforter down to the foot of the bed and burritos himself in the blanket. Can't blame him, really.
The hat is new tonight. When I last checked, he had it pulled down over his eyes. I think it may be some sort of monster protection. He's very concerned with monsters lately. What monsters are around, where they are, their emotional state (happy, sad, etc.). He's full of the most mysterious stuff of late. I don't understand half of what he's saying most days. I mean, I understand the words, just not the meaning. If he chooses to explain at length, I can generally come around to some understanding, but sometimes not. For example:
Linus: "I need a card pick."
Me: "What's a 'card pick'"?
Linus: "It's a sort of a small fish, or like a stone, for my mouth."
Me: "..."
You tell me.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I'm not that kind of girl.
I forgot about how babies will try and make out with you. Have you ever experienced this? You're holding a baby and you move in to plant a kiss on one of those fat, irresistible cheeks when at the last moment, just as you're about to make contact, the baby turns their head, mouth open, and you end up in a weird make-out session with a 3-month old. This happens to me at least twice a day with Luna. Big, drooly, open-mouthers when all I want is a cheek smooch.
A new tack
I know I've been home for 13 weeks with Luna now and yet I haven't managed to post more than once. What gives? I don't have a good answer except that writing takes more time for me than the snippets I get at the moment, I guess. I'd had this grand plan to post almost daily with these long posts all about labor, birth, new baby, parenting, etc. Well, so much for my plans. How about if I just post a little about small things with more regularity and save the big posts for another time? Ok? Good.
So, quick Luna Bee update: She talks all the time! She's the chattiest baby I've ever met. She looks at you intently, waits until she has your full attention, and then starts to talk, "Hoo. Hool. Hoowool. Hoom. Hoowow. Waloo hool. Mwah!" She really tries to imitate the way we move our mouths when we talk to her. She's got something to say and no way to really say it yet. Linus babbled like other babies at some point, sure, but it's like Luna's trying so hard to make Big People words right out of the box. I'll see if I can get some video of it up at some point.
So, quick Luna Bee update: She talks all the time! She's the chattiest baby I've ever met. She looks at you intently, waits until she has your full attention, and then starts to talk, "Hoo. Hool. Hoowool. Hoom. Hoowow. Waloo hool. Mwah!" She really tries to imitate the way we move our mouths when we talk to her. She's got something to say and no way to really say it yet. Linus babbled like other babies at some point, sure, but it's like Luna's trying so hard to make Big People words right out of the box. I'll see if I can get some video of it up at some point.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Luna Bee...
...is one week old!
We are both healthy and well. I will post soon about her birth and more, but right now I'm just coming out of that first week fog of nursing and sleeping, sleeping and nursing.
We are both healthy and well. I will post soon about her birth and more, but right now I'm just coming out of that first week fog of nursing and sleeping, sleeping and nursing.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Pink is the new Spider-Man
Linus' favorite color is pink. It was orange, but some time a couple of months ago, pink moved up. He's pink crazy. Anything pink and he's all over it. He's 3, so he's completely free of any bullshit associations having to do with gender and color, unlike my mother. When I was pregnant with Linus, she and I would go baby clothes shopping and she would be horrified when I would want to buy a little floral shirt or something. I hated that even for tiny babies "boy" clothes were covered with sports imagery, or trains, or bears. All in shades of blue or maybe plaid, of course.
So, for my sister's wedding a couple of weeks ago, Linus decided he wanted to wear a pink shirt. Fine with me. However, we gender-stereotype toddlers in this culture way harder than even grown men and women. I could go into the men's clothing section of any department store and buy my husband a pink button down, or maybe a polo shirt, no problem. But you can not buy a pink shirt for a 3-year old boy. Period. Turn around and face the girl's section and you see nothing but pink. A friggin' sea of pink. But at least little girls can go into the boy's section if they want and buy a plaid shirt or whatever without raising too many eyebrows. Not the other way around, however. The clothes in the girl's section aren't just pink. They also have all kinds of other signifiers of girly-ness; bows, puffy sleeves, lace, "girl"-specific imagery, etc. It's really insane. This doesn't come from the kids, people. This is all grown up baggage and it's gross, frankly. Sure, there are innate differences between little boys and girls, but this clothing crap is all cultural.
I looked in 4 different stores for a dressy pink shirt. The closest I could find was a white button down. Pathetic. And, I knew that wouldn't be sufficient for Linus. I finally got sick of finding nothing, so I went into the girls section and picked out 4 pink shirts of various styles. He was psyched to see them, but one was the clear favorite: a pink thermal with slightly puffy shoulders and a big, sparkly crown printed on the front. He calls it his "princess shirt". Awesome. I'll see if I can get a picture of him in it up later.
So, for my sister's wedding a couple of weeks ago, Linus decided he wanted to wear a pink shirt. Fine with me. However, we gender-stereotype toddlers in this culture way harder than even grown men and women. I could go into the men's clothing section of any department store and buy my husband a pink button down, or maybe a polo shirt, no problem. But you can not buy a pink shirt for a 3-year old boy. Period. Turn around and face the girl's section and you see nothing but pink. A friggin' sea of pink. But at least little girls can go into the boy's section if they want and buy a plaid shirt or whatever without raising too many eyebrows. Not the other way around, however. The clothes in the girl's section aren't just pink. They also have all kinds of other signifiers of girly-ness; bows, puffy sleeves, lace, "girl"-specific imagery, etc. It's really insane. This doesn't come from the kids, people. This is all grown up baggage and it's gross, frankly. Sure, there are innate differences between little boys and girls, but this clothing crap is all cultural.
I looked in 4 different stores for a dressy pink shirt. The closest I could find was a white button down. Pathetic. And, I knew that wouldn't be sufficient for Linus. I finally got sick of finding nothing, so I went into the girls section and picked out 4 pink shirts of various styles. He was psyched to see them, but one was the clear favorite: a pink thermal with slightly puffy shoulders and a big, sparkly crown printed on the front. He calls it his "princess shirt". Awesome. I'll see if I can get a picture of him in it up later.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
My son is pregnant
Linus informed me that he too has a baby in his belly that kicks him. It also tells him to be quiet because it's trying to sleep. So now when we feel my belly for kicks, we feel his belly too. Even Steven.
I sitting here on our back patio watching the chickens stroll back and forth, patrolling the grass for bugs. They must have decimated bug populations in our backyard by now with their thorough, daily searches. They still seem to find plenty to snack on, however. Whenever I get up to go inside for something, they all run over to see if I'm preparing to pass out treats ("treats" in this case meaning stale bread or table scraps). After a couple of seconds, when it becomes obvious I got nothin', they look at me with chicken reproach and resume their promenade. It's quite relaxing, really, watching them. That is until one of them hops up into one of my garden beds, then it's Chicken Hosing Time! They've scratched up my basil more than once this summer and it pisses me off! They also like to eat the kale, when they get the chance. Good thing for them we actually get something in return, or it would be Pot Pie Time!
It's almost dusk now, so they're slowing making their way back to the hen house. We've been getting 4 eggs a day for about a month now; 2 large, pale brown ones and 2 small, dark brown ones. We give about a dozen a week to the neighbors, in case the occasional early morning chicken dust-up disturbs them. They claim not to be bothered, but it sure as hell bothers me! It's was worse when we first introduced the 2 new ones in with the 2 older Barred Rocks a couple of months back, but now they've settled down. The new ones got their asses kicked, or pecked, really, all over the place, but I guess the pecking order has been established.
My belly is huge and I still have +-14 weeks to go. I feel impatient already, like I'm in the last month. I feel fine, no real complaints beyond bigness, and impatience. I have a fairly grueling travel schedule ahead of me this month, and I'm hoping I don't fall asleep during any meetings and snore or drool in front of my colleagues. I leave for a week long meeting in San Jose on Sunday, then I'm back for a week, then to Kansas City for a week to teach in a workshop (the boys are coming with me on that one to visit everyone in Lawrence), then I leave from KC and fly to a week-long brainstorming meeting in Pune, India. I know!
Once I get through all this travel, September is multiple trips to Seattle for my sister's wedding and wedding-related activities, as well as my Gram's 90th birthday. If I can make it through September, October should be fairly low key. Then, a baby! I think it's a sign you're doing too much when you look forward to the arrival of a new baby for a little down time.
I sitting here on our back patio watching the chickens stroll back and forth, patrolling the grass for bugs. They must have decimated bug populations in our backyard by now with their thorough, daily searches. They still seem to find plenty to snack on, however. Whenever I get up to go inside for something, they all run over to see if I'm preparing to pass out treats ("treats" in this case meaning stale bread or table scraps). After a couple of seconds, when it becomes obvious I got nothin', they look at me with chicken reproach and resume their promenade. It's quite relaxing, really, watching them. That is until one of them hops up into one of my garden beds, then it's Chicken Hosing Time! They've scratched up my basil more than once this summer and it pisses me off! They also like to eat the kale, when they get the chance. Good thing for them we actually get something in return, or it would be Pot Pie Time!
It's almost dusk now, so they're slowing making their way back to the hen house. We've been getting 4 eggs a day for about a month now; 2 large, pale brown ones and 2 small, dark brown ones. We give about a dozen a week to the neighbors, in case the occasional early morning chicken dust-up disturbs them. They claim not to be bothered, but it sure as hell bothers me! It's was worse when we first introduced the 2 new ones in with the 2 older Barred Rocks a couple of months back, but now they've settled down. The new ones got their asses kicked, or pecked, really, all over the place, but I guess the pecking order has been established.
My belly is huge and I still have +-14 weeks to go. I feel impatient already, like I'm in the last month. I feel fine, no real complaints beyond bigness, and impatience. I have a fairly grueling travel schedule ahead of me this month, and I'm hoping I don't fall asleep during any meetings and snore or drool in front of my colleagues. I leave for a week long meeting in San Jose on Sunday, then I'm back for a week, then to Kansas City for a week to teach in a workshop (the boys are coming with me on that one to visit everyone in Lawrence), then I leave from KC and fly to a week-long brainstorming meeting in Pune, India. I know!
Once I get through all this travel, September is multiple trips to Seattle for my sister's wedding and wedding-related activities, as well as my Gram's 90th birthday. If I can make it through September, October should be fairly low key. Then, a baby! I think it's a sign you're doing too much when you look forward to the arrival of a new baby for a little down time.
Monday, July 16, 2007
More catching up...
I know! I've barely posted anything in the last bunch of months. Tina asked for an update so here it is:
Ok, first of all, we've changed Skeletor's fetal name to Cindy Pilates. Yes, apparently we're having a girl. What?! A girl?! That's what I said. It was a bad angle on the ultrasound, and the tech didn't sound too confident, so I won't be too surprised if Cindy comes out an Igor, but for now we're embracing the girl thing. Well, at least I'm trying to embrace it. I think I made myself pretty clear that I was hoping for a boy - it just seems so much more straight forward to just throw another boy into the mix - so I was a bit...what? Upset? Disappointed? No, not exactly. Just sort of thrown for a loop. I have a hard time adjusting when I've spent a lot of time imaging just how I think things will be. That's why I never really had a clear picture in my head of how I thought labor would go last time. I knew I'd never be able to picture it, so I didn't want to be all invested in one image and not be able to go with whatever the flow turned out to be. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm slowly coming around. I'm still completely freaked out by the idea of a tween- or teenage girl, but I'm starting to like the idea of a whole different vibe with this one. Not that another boy would've been boring or routine or something, but you get my meaning. So, a girl.
The name Cindy Pilates comes from my friend Jas, who insisted I was having a girl before we ever knew. Not because he thinks he has any special insight or anything, but he and his wife are expecting a girl next month and he wanted me in the same boat. So, not so much a prediction as a magic spell he cast over and over. The "Pilates" part is because he's convinced that both his wife and I got pregnant shortly after taking up pilates because we'd just taken up pilates Pilates as the magic fertility rite. Of course, I was trying to get pregnant, but they were not. In fact, according to him they were taking multiple prophylatic measures, but pilates triumphed in the end. Don't doubt the power of pilates!
A girl! Whaaaat? I know!
Linus wants to name her Batopat. Or, alternatively, Patobat. Maybe it's spelled Bat o' Pat, I'm not sure. I'll have to check with him.
p.s. Big Bad John, what's your email address?
Ok, first of all, we've changed Skeletor's fetal name to Cindy Pilates. Yes, apparently we're having a girl. What?! A girl?! That's what I said. It was a bad angle on the ultrasound, and the tech didn't sound too confident, so I won't be too surprised if Cindy comes out an Igor, but for now we're embracing the girl thing. Well, at least I'm trying to embrace it. I think I made myself pretty clear that I was hoping for a boy - it just seems so much more straight forward to just throw another boy into the mix - so I was a bit...what? Upset? Disappointed? No, not exactly. Just sort of thrown for a loop. I have a hard time adjusting when I've spent a lot of time imaging just how I think things will be. That's why I never really had a clear picture in my head of how I thought labor would go last time. I knew I'd never be able to picture it, so I didn't want to be all invested in one image and not be able to go with whatever the flow turned out to be. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm slowly coming around. I'm still completely freaked out by the idea of a tween- or teenage girl, but I'm starting to like the idea of a whole different vibe with this one. Not that another boy would've been boring or routine or something, but you get my meaning. So, a girl.
The name Cindy Pilates comes from my friend Jas, who insisted I was having a girl before we ever knew. Not because he thinks he has any special insight or anything, but he and his wife are expecting a girl next month and he wanted me in the same boat. So, not so much a prediction as a magic spell he cast over and over. The "Pilates" part is because he's convinced that both his wife and I got pregnant shortly after taking up pilates because we'd just taken up pilates Pilates as the magic fertility rite. Of course, I was trying to get pregnant, but they were not. In fact, according to him they were taking multiple prophylatic measures, but pilates triumphed in the end. Don't doubt the power of pilates!
A girl! Whaaaat? I know!
Linus wants to name her Batopat. Or, alternatively, Patobat. Maybe it's spelled Bat o' Pat, I'm not sure. I'll have to check with him.
p.s. Big Bad John, what's your email address?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Miscellaneous catching up
I know, right?We went camping last weekend. This was our second time out. Most of my best memories from childhood were of family camping trips, so I've been psyched for a long time to take Linus out. We never got our shit together last summer, but this time I knew the window of time in which I'd be able to sleep on the ground was small, so we had to get a move on right quick. I figure that if we work the kinks out early, later when I'm too big with baby to be comfortable the boys can go out for weekend trips and leave me home to nap in peace. Orion and I used to do all kinds of hiking and camping back in the day, but we hadn't been out in years. I don't think we even took our equipment out of storage the entire time we lived in Kansas. No point - you have to drive 8 hours just to get anywhere remotely hike-able. But now we live an hour from 2 mountain ranges. Of course, the kind of camping we're doing now is a bit different - car camping vs. back-country camping. We had to get a bigger tent and a cooler and what not. And, if I'm not carrying it in on my back, I want a dang seat and a big fat sleep pad!
This is all up Linus' alley, what with all the sticks and rocks out in nature. He could spend 3 hours throwing rocks into the river. We roasted wienies on sticks over the camp fire, then marshmallows, of course. He's happy to sleep on the ground and rain doesn't bother him at all, which is good because we got lots of it last weekend. I apparently chose the perfect elevational band for rainfall. A little higher up the mountain, dry, a little lower down the mountain, dry(er). Ah well, we had fun anyway. I think if we go in the next couple of weeks I may have one more trip in me, but after that it's bed only for me.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I'm jealous
At this moment I'm watching Linus sit on the back patio eating a blueberry muffin. He's wearing a Batman shirt, complete with cape and utility belt, khaki shorts, and blue and red monster rain boots. He's quietly singing Twinkle Twinkly Little Star to himself. I think. Awesome!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Hi, Skeletor!
Sorry the scan sucks. You know what the best thing about that image is? The nice, clear, midline down the middle of the skull! That's what I like to see in a developing fetus, a well-defined midline.
1.8 mm
The ultrasound tech took about 4 different measurements of nuchal translucency last evening and they ranged from 1.4-1.8 mm, with a crown-to-rump length of 59 mm. So, unless my blood work comes back really anomolous, my guess is that the probability of any of the most common aneuploidies (or congenital heart defects) will actually be lower than even that based on demographic data (you know, advanced maternal age and all). In other words, YAY!
Even better, everything else looked great too. All kinds of brains, strong heartbeat, 5 fingers on each hand, everything where you'd expect it. Huge relief! The difference between how anxious I was going in vs. coming out of that ultrasound was bigger than even I thought it would be. I didn't fully realize just how wound up I was about it until I started relaxing as we looked around in there. Phew.
Turns out I didn't need to get all chippy about whether the ultrasound tech was going to be forthcoming with information. He was a really nice guy and he took us on a guided tour. Full disclosure, just how I like it. We even got a pretty cool picture of what looks like Skeletor waving at us from inside my uterus. That'll go in the scrapbook. Maybe I'll scan it and post it later.
I unleashed the circus last night by calling all of my family and infoming them. My mother already knew because last weekend was her monthly visit and she full-on asked me directly if I was pregnant. Wtf?! She caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared to lie straight to her face so I copped. She's wiley that one. She was only good for maybe one more day of discretion anyway, so we had to spill the beans.
Every single person we've told so far has said they're hoping for a girl. Friends too. Even Orion. In fact, even Linus! I asked him yesterday if he'd rather have a baby brother or sister and he said, "baby sister" (though then he said he didn't want to be a big brother he just wanted to be "a Linus", so take that how you will). Apparently I'm the only person I know who'd like me to be carrying a boy. Defer to my wishes!! We didn't find out the sex yesterday. It was a little early anyway and Skeletor wasn't cooperating.
Even better, everything else looked great too. All kinds of brains, strong heartbeat, 5 fingers on each hand, everything where you'd expect it. Huge relief! The difference between how anxious I was going in vs. coming out of that ultrasound was bigger than even I thought it would be. I didn't fully realize just how wound up I was about it until I started relaxing as we looked around in there. Phew.
Turns out I didn't need to get all chippy about whether the ultrasound tech was going to be forthcoming with information. He was a really nice guy and he took us on a guided tour. Full disclosure, just how I like it. We even got a pretty cool picture of what looks like Skeletor waving at us from inside my uterus. That'll go in the scrapbook. Maybe I'll scan it and post it later.
I unleashed the circus last night by calling all of my family and infoming them. My mother already knew because last weekend was her monthly visit and she full-on asked me directly if I was pregnant. Wtf?! She caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared to lie straight to her face so I copped. She's wiley that one. She was only good for maybe one more day of discretion anyway, so we had to spill the beans.
Every single person we've told so far has said they're hoping for a girl. Friends too. Even Orion. In fact, even Linus! I asked him yesterday if he'd rather have a baby brother or sister and he said, "baby sister" (though then he said he didn't want to be a big brother he just wanted to be "a Linus", so take that how you will). Apparently I'm the only person I know who'd like me to be carrying a boy. Defer to my wishes!! We didn't find out the sex yesterday. It was a little early anyway and Skeletor wasn't cooperating.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I refuse
I'm letting you all know that I refuse to call a seminar broadcast on the internet (or intranet, as the case may be) a "webinar". I just won't do it.
Just so's you know.
Just so's you know.
Back! (and pregnant)
I just ate a turkey burger in, like, 20 seconds. I'm not kidding. I fucking INHALED it. Why? Because I'm pregnant, that's why, and I've reached that stage where I'm no longer in the driver's seat w/r/t food intake. This phase should last about another 6 months, then I'll be in charge again.
That's right, I said "pregnant". I'm in my 13th week, which means that horrible 1st trimester sleepiness should abate soon (at least until it comes back in the 3rd). We finally decided last November to try again, after many months of:
"Should we?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"Well, I guess I kinda feel like we're not done yet, what do you think?"
"Yeah, me too, but are we ready for it?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"I'm sleepy."
"Me too."
Repeat.
We started trying to get pregnant that December, until I realized that would mean no drinking over the Christmas holiday with family coming to visit. I put the kibosh on that right quick. Tried in January. Nothing. This caused me to immediately assume we'd waited too long and we'd never get pregnant as I was clearly no longer ovulating. I proceeded to pull a bunch of papers about pregnancy and insemination rates and what not. I know. It's what I do, ok?
Did you know that even in healthy couples trying to get pregnant (that is having daily sex at the right time) there's only a 37% probability of conceiving, and a 25% probability of having a live birth. That means that even if absolutely everything goes right, you have a 1 in 4 chance of getting viably pregnant on any given month. (I'm getting this from Wilcox, et al. 1995, "The timing of sexual intercourse in relation to ovulation" N Engl J Med 1995;333:1517-21) Most of the difference between conception rates and live birth rates happens before you even know you're pregnant. Essentially they had 221 healthy women who were trying to get pregnant pee into a cup every morning and record every time they had sex. This way they knew exactly when they ovulated, conceived, miscarried, etc.
This kind of blew my mind at first. Only 37% of women conceive even when the stars are aligned, and only 2/3 of those conceptions end in live births? Doesn't that figure seem low to you? And this was in healthy women trying to get pregnant, not any ol' women. Now I get why you have to be trying unsuccessfully for at least 6 months before the medical community will even begin to think you may have a fertility problem. Even though it is a low probability in any given month, another way to look at it is, even given that low conception rate, the probability of you not conceiving a viable pregnancy after 6 months of trying if you and your partner are healthy is only 18%. So, once I read all this I calmed down a little bit. February, we got pregnant.
Ok, enough statistics (for now). I'm due November 12th. Like my pregnancy with Linus, I feel good about this one. But given our history, I'm not going to relax or fully embrace it until I see that everything's ok. I did get to hear a heartbeat last week, and that was good, but I'm really waiting for today. Today we go in for a nuchal translucency ultrasound. This is a non-invasive, 1st/early 2nd trimester screening proceedure that they've recently started doing in this country (they've been doing it in the UK for quite awhile now). They take some blood and then measure the fetal nuchal translucency (fluid at the nape of the neck) via ultrasound. Really, anything above 2mm or so for the nt measure is associated with higher rates of some chromosomal anomalies (including trisomy 21 - Down's Syndrome) and/or some congenital heart defects depending on gestational and maternal age, and some blood chemistry markers. Blah, blah, blah, I want a nt <2mm. AND I want to see everything else looking good and that nice butterfly shaped higher brain development. That's what I'm looking for.
I'm not really worried about chromosomal anomolies, even given my "advanced maternal age" (all of 38) (mofos!), but fears about a repeat of pregnancy #1 lurk, especially given that we never found out what went wrong exactly.
And I'm not leaving that examination room without knowing the crown-to-rump length and nuchal translucency. I hope the ultrasound tech doesn't try to get all cagey about it. I get that he can't diagnose, but he can give me the friggin' numbers. There will be trouble if he tries to deny me.
That's right, I said "pregnant". I'm in my 13th week, which means that horrible 1st trimester sleepiness should abate soon (at least until it comes back in the 3rd). We finally decided last November to try again, after many months of:
"Should we?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"Well, I guess I kinda feel like we're not done yet, what do you think?"
"Yeah, me too, but are we ready for it?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"I'm sleepy."
"Me too."
Repeat.
We started trying to get pregnant that December, until I realized that would mean no drinking over the Christmas holiday with family coming to visit. I put the kibosh on that right quick. Tried in January. Nothing. This caused me to immediately assume we'd waited too long and we'd never get pregnant as I was clearly no longer ovulating. I proceeded to pull a bunch of papers about pregnancy and insemination rates and what not. I know. It's what I do, ok?
Did you know that even in healthy couples trying to get pregnant (that is having daily sex at the right time) there's only a 37% probability of conceiving, and a 25% probability of having a live birth. That means that even if absolutely everything goes right, you have a 1 in 4 chance of getting viably pregnant on any given month. (I'm getting this from Wilcox, et al. 1995, "The timing of sexual intercourse in relation to ovulation" N Engl J Med 1995;333:1517-21) Most of the difference between conception rates and live birth rates happens before you even know you're pregnant. Essentially they had 221 healthy women who were trying to get pregnant pee into a cup every morning and record every time they had sex. This way they knew exactly when they ovulated, conceived, miscarried, etc.
This kind of blew my mind at first. Only 37% of women conceive even when the stars are aligned, and only 2/3 of those conceptions end in live births? Doesn't that figure seem low to you? And this was in healthy women trying to get pregnant, not any ol' women. Now I get why you have to be trying unsuccessfully for at least 6 months before the medical community will even begin to think you may have a fertility problem. Even though it is a low probability in any given month, another way to look at it is, even given that low conception rate, the probability of you not conceiving a viable pregnancy after 6 months of trying if you and your partner are healthy is only 18%. So, once I read all this I calmed down a little bit. February, we got pregnant.
Ok, enough statistics (for now). I'm due November 12th. Like my pregnancy with Linus, I feel good about this one. But given our history, I'm not going to relax or fully embrace it until I see that everything's ok. I did get to hear a heartbeat last week, and that was good, but I'm really waiting for today. Today we go in for a nuchal translucency ultrasound. This is a non-invasive, 1st/early 2nd trimester screening proceedure that they've recently started doing in this country (they've been doing it in the UK for quite awhile now). They take some blood and then measure the fetal nuchal translucency (fluid at the nape of the neck) via ultrasound. Really, anything above 2mm or so for the nt measure is associated with higher rates of some chromosomal anomalies (including trisomy 21 - Down's Syndrome) and/or some congenital heart defects depending on gestational and maternal age, and some blood chemistry markers. Blah, blah, blah, I want a nt <2mm. AND I want to see everything else looking good and that nice butterfly shaped higher brain development. That's what I'm looking for.
I'm not really worried about chromosomal anomolies, even given my "advanced maternal age" (all of 38) (mofos!), but fears about a repeat of pregnancy #1 lurk, especially given that we never found out what went wrong exactly.
And I'm not leaving that examination room without knowing the crown-to-rump length and nuchal translucency. I hope the ultrasound tech doesn't try to get all cagey about it. I get that he can't diagnose, but he can give me the friggin' numbers. There will be trouble if he tries to deny me.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Those dastardly Mooninites!
We are big Aqua Teen Hunger Force fans in the McNyset household. I laughed so hard this morning while listening to the report about how the Boston terrorism scare turned out to be a gorilla marketing campaign featuring replicas of the Mooninites that I almost drove off the road, but not as hard as I laughed when I asked Orion, "How could anyone think it was terrorists?" To which he replied;
"'Oh my god! Al Qaeda is giving us the finger before they blow us up with Lite Brites!'"
"'Oh my god! Al Qaeda is giving us the finger before they blow us up with Lite Brites!'"
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I may be stupid...
I just gotta say - it's open enrollment time for health benefits and all that crap, I'm sure many of you are dealing with this yourselves at the moment. You guys, I have 3 degrees from institutions of higher learning and I CANNOT figure this shit out! I have seriously spent many hours (OVER LUNCH, in case my boss finds this journal) trying to figure out which health plan is going to give me and my family the best coverage for what we need for the best price. I JUST DON'T KNOW! Fortunately, all the information is online these days - if I had to do all of this on paper I would've hung myself already, for sure - and as I type this I have 4 browser windows, 2 PDFs, and 2 spreadsheets open trying to make a final decision. Still, I have no confidence that I'm making the right choice. And while Orion is plenty smart and all, you know I can't leave this kind of thing to anyone else. Besides, he would have descended into a deep depression days ago had he been in charge of figuring this stuff out.
I look at the 12 plan brochures, each with 2-3 different plan options, all with different premiums, and co-pays, and deductibles, and PPO networks and I think of my 86-year old Grandmother who had to sign up for the Medicare prescription drug coverage not too long ago. DON'T get me started...
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, other than I need to rant, and I want anyone else out there who's feeling too stupid to function in this healthcare system at the moment to know: I feel you. Better than not having any health coverage, for sure, but still....can we not work this shit out as a people? I know that Americans are supposed to be all about having choices and "control", but I just feel like they're confusing me with their jazz-hands and fireworks and I'm going to end up losing my house when I have to pay my share of the bills when Linus breaks his arm after climbing up on the mantel and playing Supa Fwy!
I look at the 12 plan brochures, each with 2-3 different plan options, all with different premiums, and co-pays, and deductibles, and PPO networks and I think of my 86-year old Grandmother who had to sign up for the Medicare prescription drug coverage not too long ago. DON'T get me started...
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, other than I need to rant, and I want anyone else out there who's feeling too stupid to function in this healthcare system at the moment to know: I feel you. Better than not having any health coverage, for sure, but still....can we not work this shit out as a people? I know that Americans are supposed to be all about having choices and "control", but I just feel like they're confusing me with their jazz-hands and fireworks and I'm going to end up losing my house when I have to pay my share of the bills when Linus breaks his arm after climbing up on the mantel and playing Supa Fwy!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Google me now, mofos!
I find it amusing that I get more hits on this blog from people googling, "belly button rubbing" than I have regular readers. Of course, there are only 4 people who check regularly, so it's not that fantastic, but still...
What the fuck?! What is it that people need to learn from the internet about belly button rubbing? Looking for How-Tos?! Or is this some sort of fetish and people are looking for like minds? Are there belly button rubbing naughty pictures out there? To each his own, but...ew.
He still does it, by the way, Linus and the belly button comfort rubbing. It's still his only security "blanket" (though it may be getting competition lately from his Supa Man hoodie). He's pretty much weaned himself over the last couple of months, so there's no nursing-for-comfort now, just belly button checks. On occasion, not all the time. It's great for me because you can never misplace your belly button and then demand that I find it before you'll leave the house. Nobody cries because they can't find their belly button. At least, I'm assuming.
What the fuck?! What is it that people need to learn from the internet about belly button rubbing? Looking for How-Tos?! Or is this some sort of fetish and people are looking for like minds? Are there belly button rubbing naughty pictures out there? To each his own, but...ew.
He still does it, by the way, Linus and the belly button comfort rubbing. It's still his only security "blanket" (though it may be getting competition lately from his Supa Man hoodie). He's pretty much weaned himself over the last couple of months, so there's no nursing-for-comfort now, just belly button checks. On occasion, not all the time. It's great for me because you can never misplace your belly button and then demand that I find it before you'll leave the house. Nobody cries because they can't find their belly button. At least, I'm assuming.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wha?
(While looking through an alphabet book)
Me: What's this? (pointing to the letter "M")
Linus: M!
Me: Yes! What's this? (pointing to the letter "K")
Linus: B!
Me: Close! It kinda looks like a "B", but it's a "K".
Linus: K!
Me: Yes! What's this? (pointing to the letter "J")
Linus: Wonda Woman!
Me: What? What is this?
Linus: Wonda Woman!
Me: Huh.
Me: What's this? (pointing to the letter "M")
Linus: M!
Me: Yes! What's this? (pointing to the letter "K")
Linus: B!
Me: Close! It kinda looks like a "B", but it's a "K".
Linus: K!
Me: Yes! What's this? (pointing to the letter "J")
Linus: Wonda Woman!
Me: What? What is this?
Linus: Wonda Woman!
Me: Huh.
Monday, November 06, 2006
60 Minutes Australia can fuck off!
I'm not kidding, they really can. I told them as much in an email. I may have used the phrase "yellow journalism" as well. Fuckers.
I'm pissed because they featured a story on their October 22nd broadcast called, "Being there". No, I don't watch 60 Minutes Australia. Someone on the parenting listserv back in Lawrence that I still belong to posted about it. It's supposed to be a story about Attachment Parenting, but it ends up making AP parents looks like radical, permissive kooks. Attachment Parenting, in case you don't know, is a parenting philosophy that advocates building a strong bond with your baby through things like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and "baby-wearing" (using a carrier as much as is practical so the baby gets the benefit of lots of physical contact), along with "gentle" or "positive" discipline (which in practice means a lot of things, but primarily non-violent). The idea is that if you establish this strong attachment, your kids will develop into secure, emotionally-healthy, peaceful people.
Before I even knew I had a parenting "philosophy", I knew that these things made sense to me and described the kind of approach I intened to take to parenting an infant, at least. This parenting group back in Lawrence (I've written a bit about them before and how much I miss their support) is an Attachment Parenting group. We're not affiliated with the international organization - mostly we're a bunch like-minded parents. I got in touch with the group initially because I didn't know anyone, apart from far-flung family, that had small kids and I felt like I needed to make friends with other parents. Critical! It was only later that I realized I'd happened into the right group for me, and felt lucky to be surrounded by people who fully supported, and could give informed advice about, the choices I was making as a parent. Hell, I don't even like to refer to a "parenting philosophy" - sounds a little like I'm in est, or a scientologist or something. We don't have a secret handshake or anything. I think some parents tend to gravitate together because what we're doing is not particularly well-represented in the mainstream media or popular culture.
Ok, back to the 60 Minutes story - so, they misrepresent AP parents from the begining. They chose to profile parents who go waaaaay beyond any AP parent I've ever met. They open with an image of a woman with big ol' boobies tandem nursing her daughters. They totally play on people's squicky response to breastfeeding in general, and especially breastfeeding toddlers and young children (apparently there are many cultural similarities between Australia and the United States on this subject). Also, they misrepresent AP as taking a "no discipline" approach and they lump a bunch of other random shit under the AP rubric which doesn't belong there at all. Notice that I've said nothing thus far about home-schooling, home-birth, and Elimination Communication ("EC" - not using diapers, essentially) among other things. Now, it's true that some AP parents are also home-schoolers, or had home births, or only wear Birkenstocks, or drive fucking Volvos, or only name their children after natural features of the landscape, but that doesn't mean that those are AP principles simply by association!
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaagh!
They even go as far as showing the tandem-nurser mom expressing some breast milk and applying it to some sort of rash on one of her kids. Wtf?! What can that POSSIBLY have to do with AP?! It may be a perfectly fine idea, I don't know, that's not the point. The point was, I can guess, to show how far-out and nutty that family is. In fact, that women's breasts get more airplay than anything else in this story. They also have a midwife on who practices AP with her kids, and she actually does a fairly good job of talking about her parenting philosophy in the face of what I would characterize as derision from the "journalist", but every time she talks about her approach to discipline, they cut to a shot of her 3 year old crying, or screaming, or generally melting down. Please! I don't care what parenting approach you take, if you have a toddler, you're going to have to deal with crying and screaming. But they were doing it in a way that made it look like her kid was completely out of control.
Then to top it all off, they have on a child psychologist (Dr. John Irvine) who makes the claim that AP parents are actually subjecting their children to "emotional abuse". I'm not kidding, that's a direct quote. Now, I don't know anything about this guy, I've never heard of him before, but he's totally off his nut if he really believes that. Now, I suspect that what he's really refering to are those parents who don't set any limits with their kids. I suppose that would be "no discipline", and I'm sure that does lead to insecure, entitled assholes. You'll get no argument from me about that. If that's the case then, he needs to get his fucking story straight about what he's actually talking about, rather than talking out of his ass. There are many child development experts and pediatricians who endorse an AP approach, by the way (Drs. Sears and Jay Gordon are two of the most well-known), NONE of whom were interviewed in this piece. AND, they don't even mention that there's an international organization, let alone interview a representative. No! That would potentially put AP in a positive light. Asswipes!
Why am I so upset about this? I don't know exactly - part of it's because it's such a crappy, distorted, bullshit piece of "journalism", and part of it's because I feel personally slighted. It's just so frustrating. I know a lot of parents who could be characterized as AP, and most of them are smart, sane, nice folks. None of them are strident about it. They represent a broad spectrum of choices: some breastfed for 2 months, some for 4+ years. Some co-sleep, some don't. Most all of them have used a sling or other baby carrier for some period of time, but they also use strollers. Many of them have caught grief from family or friends (or even complete strangers!) for some of the choices they've made. Like most parents, they're just trying to do right by their kids without completely screwing them up.
That's my goal, anyway.
Now, any parent can choose whatever approach works for them, I don't care. Oh, I'll probably judge you IN MY MIND, but that's because I'm that way. I'd never actually SAY anything to you unsolicited. Actually, I'm quite sympathetic to the plight of most parents. All it takes is your first toddler meltdown in a public place to knock the smug right out of you. I'm also happy to explain at length why I've made the choices I have, because you know they're well-informed at least. If you know me at all you know I've approached parenting the same way I approach just about anything - research, research, RESEARCH. Why didn't you call ME, 60 MINUTES?!? Too boring?! Not willing to wag my boobies on TV?! Oh HO! Little do you know.
Phew! I feel better now. Thanks for letting me get that hot lump of screed out.
I'm pissed because they featured a story on their October 22nd broadcast called, "Being there". No, I don't watch 60 Minutes Australia. Someone on the parenting listserv back in Lawrence that I still belong to posted about it. It's supposed to be a story about Attachment Parenting, but it ends up making AP parents looks like radical, permissive kooks. Attachment Parenting, in case you don't know, is a parenting philosophy that advocates building a strong bond with your baby through things like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and "baby-wearing" (using a carrier as much as is practical so the baby gets the benefit of lots of physical contact), along with "gentle" or "positive" discipline (which in practice means a lot of things, but primarily non-violent). The idea is that if you establish this strong attachment, your kids will develop into secure, emotionally-healthy, peaceful people.
Before I even knew I had a parenting "philosophy", I knew that these things made sense to me and described the kind of approach I intened to take to parenting an infant, at least. This parenting group back in Lawrence (I've written a bit about them before and how much I miss their support) is an Attachment Parenting group. We're not affiliated with the international organization - mostly we're a bunch like-minded parents. I got in touch with the group initially because I didn't know anyone, apart from far-flung family, that had small kids and I felt like I needed to make friends with other parents. Critical! It was only later that I realized I'd happened into the right group for me, and felt lucky to be surrounded by people who fully supported, and could give informed advice about, the choices I was making as a parent. Hell, I don't even like to refer to a "parenting philosophy" - sounds a little like I'm in est, or a scientologist or something. We don't have a secret handshake or anything. I think some parents tend to gravitate together because what we're doing is not particularly well-represented in the mainstream media or popular culture.
Ok, back to the 60 Minutes story - so, they misrepresent AP parents from the begining. They chose to profile parents who go waaaaay beyond any AP parent I've ever met. They open with an image of a woman with big ol' boobies tandem nursing her daughters. They totally play on people's squicky response to breastfeeding in general, and especially breastfeeding toddlers and young children (apparently there are many cultural similarities between Australia and the United States on this subject). Also, they misrepresent AP as taking a "no discipline" approach and they lump a bunch of other random shit under the AP rubric which doesn't belong there at all. Notice that I've said nothing thus far about home-schooling, home-birth, and Elimination Communication ("EC" - not using diapers, essentially) among other things. Now, it's true that some AP parents are also home-schoolers, or had home births, or only wear Birkenstocks, or drive fucking Volvos, or only name their children after natural features of the landscape, but that doesn't mean that those are AP principles simply by association!
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaagh!
They even go as far as showing the tandem-nurser mom expressing some breast milk and applying it to some sort of rash on one of her kids. Wtf?! What can that POSSIBLY have to do with AP?! It may be a perfectly fine idea, I don't know, that's not the point. The point was, I can guess, to show how far-out and nutty that family is. In fact, that women's breasts get more airplay than anything else in this story. They also have a midwife on who practices AP with her kids, and she actually does a fairly good job of talking about her parenting philosophy in the face of what I would characterize as derision from the "journalist", but every time she talks about her approach to discipline, they cut to a shot of her 3 year old crying, or screaming, or generally melting down. Please! I don't care what parenting approach you take, if you have a toddler, you're going to have to deal with crying and screaming. But they were doing it in a way that made it look like her kid was completely out of control.
Then to top it all off, they have on a child psychologist (Dr. John Irvine) who makes the claim that AP parents are actually subjecting their children to "emotional abuse". I'm not kidding, that's a direct quote. Now, I don't know anything about this guy, I've never heard of him before, but he's totally off his nut if he really believes that. Now, I suspect that what he's really refering to are those parents who don't set any limits with their kids. I suppose that would be "no discipline", and I'm sure that does lead to insecure, entitled assholes. You'll get no argument from me about that. If that's the case then, he needs to get his fucking story straight about what he's actually talking about, rather than talking out of his ass. There are many child development experts and pediatricians who endorse an AP approach, by the way (Drs. Sears and Jay Gordon are two of the most well-known), NONE of whom were interviewed in this piece. AND, they don't even mention that there's an international organization, let alone interview a representative. No! That would potentially put AP in a positive light. Asswipes!
Why am I so upset about this? I don't know exactly - part of it's because it's such a crappy, distorted, bullshit piece of "journalism", and part of it's because I feel personally slighted. It's just so frustrating. I know a lot of parents who could be characterized as AP, and most of them are smart, sane, nice folks. None of them are strident about it. They represent a broad spectrum of choices: some breastfed for 2 months, some for 4+ years. Some co-sleep, some don't. Most all of them have used a sling or other baby carrier for some period of time, but they also use strollers. Many of them have caught grief from family or friends (or even complete strangers!) for some of the choices they've made. Like most parents, they're just trying to do right by their kids without completely screwing them up.
That's my goal, anyway.
Now, any parent can choose whatever approach works for them, I don't care. Oh, I'll probably judge you IN MY MIND, but that's because I'm that way. I'd never actually SAY anything to you unsolicited. Actually, I'm quite sympathetic to the plight of most parents. All it takes is your first toddler meltdown in a public place to knock the smug right out of you. I'm also happy to explain at length why I've made the choices I have, because you know they're well-informed at least. If you know me at all you know I've approached parenting the same way I approach just about anything - research, research, RESEARCH. Why didn't you call ME, 60 MINUTES?!? Too boring?! Not willing to wag my boobies on TV?! Oh HO! Little do you know.
Phew! I feel better now. Thanks for letting me get that hot lump of screed out.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Mini Me, er...Him
Ok, that right there could be a picture of Orion. Hands on hips, walking around, surveying the situation, furrowed brow. Of course, Orion doesn't have a pair of monster boots like that, and if he did, I doubt he'd insist on wearing them everywhere, every day. Sometimes, Linus even tries to get me to let him wear them to bed, but you gotta draw the line somewhere. I'm always taken by surprise whenever Linus busts out with some look or gesture that's exactly like Orion. I mean, I'm a biologist and all, so I know how it works, but still...I figured I'd give a bit of a Linus update:
Well, he rocks, of course. That kind of goes without saying. He's talking all the time now and it's cute as hell. He's past that stage where we can say stuff in front of him without him understanding. Now if we want to talk about, say, chocolate (or "chocus", according to Linus) we have to spell it out, otherwise it can get ugly. He pretty much keeps up a running monologue, unless he's pooping or getting into something he knows he shouldn't, like mining my bag for gum. Handy, that. Kind of a warning system.
He's completely fascinated with Superman ("Supa!") and how he can fly. I really don't know how he found out about Superman. I suspect another kid at daycare must have spilled the beans. He loves to "fwy" like Supa - he puts his arms out and either wants us to carry him, or he dives onto the beanbag ("FWY!") (I know - killing you with the adorable. Believe me, I know!). The other day we were at the grocery store, when suddenly he yelled out, "Supa!" I'm looking around not seeing anything, but the baby keeps insisting, "Supa!" Finally, I follow his pointing to a jar of Napoleon brand roasted red peppers. I'm totally not getting it, then it dawns on me that Linus thinks the little picture of Napoleon is Superman. Well, he did have dark hair and we was wearing a red and blue outfit, so...ok.
Napoleon, Superman. Potato, Potahto, right?
Roasted red peppers are one of his favorite foods, by the way, completely independent of the whole Supoleon confusion. Peppers and "tatoes" (tomatoes). And, of course, chocus.
Can't forget about the chocus.
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