Labor amnesia

I realized after posting yesterday that I really don't remember all that much about my labor. I guess I have that labor amnesia that women get so that they'll be willing to go through it again. Evolution rocks! I mean, obviously I remember quite a bit about it, but not as much as I'd expect given that it was pretty much the biggest single event that's ever happened to me. I have no idea what filled those 54 hours. I remember being in the tub, breathing through contractions, blah, blah, blah, but I was in labor (and awake, mostly) for that first night, a whole day, another whole night, ANOTHER whole day, and well into another night. That is a LOT of time, but I have specific memories of about 6 total hours of it.

And I remember things at a distance. Like, I remember thinking near the end,

"I'm never doing this again."

"Nope."

"Not a chance."

But I don't really remember why. Or, I remember why - I was tired and it was painful and I was tired of being in pain - but I certainly don't feel that way now. Now I'm like, "Eh, wasn't that bad."

Some of the amnesia happened immediately, it's not just the passage of time that's muted the memories. I had no idea that 2 days had past, even while it was happening. I think it's a pretty common experience - you go into this primal, non-linear mode. You're so focused internally that external stuff doesn't register the same.

That limited world view stuck with me for quite awhile after Linus was born, but my bubble expanded to include him. I was all Gweneth Paltrow, "I don't care if I never make another movie again." But, eventually I read the screenplay for "Infamous" and decided I was interested in the outside world again.

Aaaaah, I miss the babymoon.