I went to my 20th high school reunion last month. Oh, yeah. I didn't think I'd make the effort at first, but then Tina was all for it, so I thought, "Why not?" Then as the time got closer I got increasingly nervous and excited, much to my own internal embarrassment. High school was a hard time for me, as I imagine it is for many if not most people. My family was a mess on top of all the precarious negotiations of the high school social scene. I wasn't in a hurry to revisit all that. Before the reunion, Tina and I met up with an old high school friend, Sandy. It was lovely to see her again! Seriously, I don't know why we lost touch. We fortified ourselves with libations before heading over to the "billiard hall" where it was being held. Nervous, nervous, nervous!
Turns out, there was absolutely no reason to be nervous. The whole thing was a bit boring, actually. About a hundred repeats of this conversation (from my side):
"Hi! Oh my god, how ARE you?! Great! What have you been up to? Good, good. Oh, everything's going well for me. Yeah. Well, we just moved back to the west coast. Yeah! I just started a postdoc with ____. Yeah! I know! Yeah. I do! A little boy - Linus. Oh, thanks, we like it too. Here's a picture. I KNOW! Isn't he?! Just 2. Yeah, he is big for his age. I know! And you? *Gasp*! Ohmygod! So cute! Really? Yeah. Well that's great. .... Yeah. .... Ok! You too!"
All of this done in a much higher voice and sing-song tone than I EVER use in daily life. Jesus. Embarrassing.
There were a few people there I was happy to see, and I few people I was hoping to see that weren't there, but mostly, a bunch of people I feel entirely indifferent about. Apparently many people remember me as someone who just did what she wanted and didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Which... is a perfectly fine way to be remembered, I guess. I remember feeling awkward much of the time, but...
There was one moment that made the whole trip worth it though. I got to witness first hand a drunken, bitter rant by Tim L.! Now, I had a crush on Tim when we were in junior high. A big crush. And even though I was well over it by high school, he always had this, "Yoooooouu had a crush on meeeee-eee!" kinda attitude all through high school. Gah! Back in junior high, when he found out I liked him, he told me that he could never like me back because I had too many freckles.
I know!
When I asked him what I was supposed to do about that, he said, "Well, a little acid should take care of it." And then he burped in my face.
I'm pretty sure that was about the time I stopped liking him.
Anyway, at the reunion, Tina and I made our way over to the bar to refresh our drinks, and found ourselves standing at one of those high, round, bar tables with Tim. He was clearly well into the scotch by this point. We exchanged a couple of pleasantries along the lines of what I quoted above, and then the most awesome thing happened! He goes:
"Ya know. I'm sick of people acting like their lives have all turned out soooo great! [in a falsetto] "How are you? Oh my life is so great! Everything's just great!" [fixes me with a drunken stare] Well. My life's been a roller coaster! [rolling head around to illustrate] I went to college, then I dropped out, then I tried again, and then I dropped out. [gestures with scotch in hand, sloshing drink] Then I found out I have ADD, which is probably why I couldn't ever finish. I got married, then it turns out she was a BITCH, so I got divorced. Now I drive a bus for Metro. So, no! My life hasn't been that great!
[moment of drunken silence]
Ya know. Just keepin' it real."
Oh. my. god. It was AWESOME!!!
Total fucking schadenfreude and it. was. DELICIOUS!
Tina, to her credit, was very gracious and started talking about how really, things haven't always been so great for her over the years, and what not, while I just stood there taking it all in with a big, stupid grin on my face. I mean, sure, everybody's gone through ups and downs over the last twenty years, and nobody's life is perfect, but in general, my life's pretty good. And really, I can't say that I'm too torn up about Tim L.'s life not turning out so great (see above anecdote).
Yes, I am a small, petty woman.
Later, I saw Tim across the room, arm around a women who also professed a bit of a hard luck life story. Also, quite drunk. In fact, Tim was buying her a drink while we chatted. I'm pretty sure they left together. Nothing like a drunken hook-up between bitter trainwrecks at the 20th high school reunion.
Aaaaaah, the majesty.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
I know I suck at this!
Yeah, that's right. I know one of the things that makes a blog readable is, you know, actual words. Plain Jane had a post today where she made comments to some of the journals she reads. I doubt that any of them were to me specifically (I know she's read me before, but I don't think she checks back (though if so, Hi Jane!)), but all the ones that said, "UPDATE!" could have been. I know! Blogs that aren't updated regularly annoy me! Yes, I annoy myself. All the time, actually.
In my defense, I didn't really know what to post following Tori's death. I started a couple of posts, but it all seemed so lame and inappropriate. Now that there's been some time, I feel like I can write about trivial stuff again. Either that or I've come to embrace the fact that I'm lame and inappropriate.
You pick.
Also, I've been working on a paper at work, so I've been a bit sick of writing. And, writing for scientific journals and writing for a personal blog do not mesh. In fact, all of my training as a writer (such as it is) has been geared toward technical writing, which I think is really at odds with good journal writing. In scientific publications you have to dispassionately describe results as succinctly, yet completely, as possible, all without the use of personal pronouns, or even acknowledging that actual people conducted the research. The effects of my immersion in that kind of writing permeate this blog, I think, and not in a good way. I think that my writing here tends to be too brief, not enough detail or development. Not to seem to be sucking up, but one of the things I like about Jane's journal is that she can go on for paragraphs about one topic, really delving in and describing her feelings in detail. That's one of the reasons I like her writing. I always catch myself trying to sum up everything in one sentence. Skimpy. My writing here is skimpy. Just so you know that I know.
I've contemplated just deleting this blog and keeping my junk to myself, but then...something comes up and I want to write about it. I figure no one's making you check in and read, so I'm just gonna keep going. I could make some empty promises about updating more regularly, but I won't insult your intelligence. I will say that this latest gap was due to unusual circumstances and hopefully won't happen again.
We went to Tori's memorial service a couple of weekends ago. It was in Reno so we all flew down. It was awful. Not the memorial service, which was lovely, and hard, and very emotional (obviously). No, Reno was awful. My family lived in Sparks (next to Reno) when I was a kid, but I hadn't been back there in about 20 years. Now I know why. If anyone reading this is from Reno and has deep affection for it - sorry, but that place sucks ass. Both Orion and I had headaches from the moment we arrived, and mine finally developed into a my first ever, full-on migraine. I think it was the combination of the high altitude, bone-dry air, cigarette smoke, flashing neon lights, loud, loud, LOUD noise, crying over Tori, and the pack of crazy fuckers known as My Family that did it. But I've cried and been around my family before without getting a migraine, so I'm really blaming it on Reno. By Sunday evening I was huddled in a ball in the rental car, which was blissfully quiet and smoke-free. Fortunately for me, Missy gets migraines, so she slipped me one of her pills and an hour later I could walk again.
I hope I never see a buffet or the inside of a casino again. Seriously, gross. I've never considered myself particularly sensitive to cigarette smoke, but Oh My God, I have limits! I'm pretty sure I've developed a spot on my lung just from walking through the casinos to get to whatever buffet to eat with my entire clan. I guess I've become wimpy since my waitressing days. All that living in places where smoking is banned in all public buildings (otherwise known as "Civilization") will do that to a person, I guess.
Ok, lunch time is over. That's another reason I don't update often - finding time to write. Blah, blah, blah. I'm living up to the Complain-o-peeps moniker today, eh? I have lots of little saved stories from over the last month and a half. I promise to update frequently, for awhile anyway.
In my defense, I didn't really know what to post following Tori's death. I started a couple of posts, but it all seemed so lame and inappropriate. Now that there's been some time, I feel like I can write about trivial stuff again. Either that or I've come to embrace the fact that I'm lame and inappropriate.
You pick.
Also, I've been working on a paper at work, so I've been a bit sick of writing. And, writing for scientific journals and writing for a personal blog do not mesh. In fact, all of my training as a writer (such as it is) has been geared toward technical writing, which I think is really at odds with good journal writing. In scientific publications you have to dispassionately describe results as succinctly, yet completely, as possible, all without the use of personal pronouns, or even acknowledging that actual people conducted the research. The effects of my immersion in that kind of writing permeate this blog, I think, and not in a good way. I think that my writing here tends to be too brief, not enough detail or development. Not to seem to be sucking up, but one of the things I like about Jane's journal is that she can go on for paragraphs about one topic, really delving in and describing her feelings in detail. That's one of the reasons I like her writing. I always catch myself trying to sum up everything in one sentence. Skimpy. My writing here is skimpy. Just so you know that I know.
I've contemplated just deleting this blog and keeping my junk to myself, but then...something comes up and I want to write about it. I figure no one's making you check in and read, so I'm just gonna keep going. I could make some empty promises about updating more regularly, but I won't insult your intelligence. I will say that this latest gap was due to unusual circumstances and hopefully won't happen again.
We went to Tori's memorial service a couple of weekends ago. It was in Reno so we all flew down. It was awful. Not the memorial service, which was lovely, and hard, and very emotional (obviously). No, Reno was awful. My family lived in Sparks (next to Reno) when I was a kid, but I hadn't been back there in about 20 years. Now I know why. If anyone reading this is from Reno and has deep affection for it - sorry, but that place sucks ass. Both Orion and I had headaches from the moment we arrived, and mine finally developed into a my first ever, full-on migraine. I think it was the combination of the high altitude, bone-dry air, cigarette smoke, flashing neon lights, loud, loud, LOUD noise, crying over Tori, and the pack of crazy fuckers known as My Family that did it. But I've cried and been around my family before without getting a migraine, so I'm really blaming it on Reno. By Sunday evening I was huddled in a ball in the rental car, which was blissfully quiet and smoke-free. Fortunately for me, Missy gets migraines, so she slipped me one of her pills and an hour later I could walk again.
I hope I never see a buffet or the inside of a casino again. Seriously, gross. I've never considered myself particularly sensitive to cigarette smoke, but Oh My God, I have limits! I'm pretty sure I've developed a spot on my lung just from walking through the casinos to get to whatever buffet to eat with my entire clan. I guess I've become wimpy since my waitressing days. All that living in places where smoking is banned in all public buildings (otherwise known as "Civilization") will do that to a person, I guess.
Ok, lunch time is over. That's another reason I don't update often - finding time to write. Blah, blah, blah. I'm living up to the Complain-o-peeps moniker today, eh? I have lots of little saved stories from over the last month and a half. I promise to update frequently, for awhile anyway.
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