We go to Nathan Hale High School, we get things done!

I went to my 20th high school reunion last month. Oh, yeah. I didn't think I'd make the effort at first, but then Tina was all for it, so I thought, "Why not?" Then as the time got closer I got increasingly nervous and excited, much to my own internal embarrassment. High school was a hard time for me, as I imagine it is for many if not most people. My family was a mess on top of all the precarious negotiations of the high school social scene. I wasn't in a hurry to revisit all that. Before the reunion, Tina and I met up with an old high school friend, Sandy. It was lovely to see her again! Seriously, I don't know why we lost touch. We fortified ourselves with libations before heading over to the "billiard hall" where it was being held. Nervous, nervous, nervous!

Turns out, there was absolutely no reason to be nervous. The whole thing was a bit boring, actually. About a hundred repeats of this conversation (from my side):

"Hi! Oh my god, how ARE you?! Great! What have you been up to? Good, good. Oh, everything's going well for me. Yeah. Well, we just moved back to the west coast. Yeah! I just started a postdoc with ____. Yeah! I know! Yeah. I do! A little boy - Linus. Oh, thanks, we like it too. Here's a picture. I KNOW! Isn't he?! Just 2. Yeah, he is big for his age. I know! And you? *Gasp*! Ohmygod! So cute! Really? Yeah. Well that's great. .... Yeah. .... Ok! You too!"

All of this done in a much higher voice and sing-song tone than I EVER use in daily life. Jesus. Embarrassing.

There were a few people there I was happy to see, and I few people I was hoping to see that weren't there, but mostly, a bunch of people I feel entirely indifferent about. Apparently many people remember me as someone who just did what she wanted and didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Which... is a perfectly fine way to be remembered, I guess. I remember feeling awkward much of the time, but...

There was one moment that made the whole trip worth it though. I got to witness first hand a drunken, bitter rant by Tim L.! Now, I had a crush on Tim when we were in junior high. A big crush. And even though I was well over it by high school, he always had this, "Yoooooouu had a crush on meeeee-eee!" kinda attitude all through high school. Gah! Back in junior high, when he found out I liked him, he told me that he could never like me back because I had too many freckles.

I know!

When I asked him what I was supposed to do about that, he said, "Well, a little acid should take care of it." And then he burped in my face.

I'm pretty sure that was about the time I stopped liking him.

Anyway, at the reunion, Tina and I made our way over to the bar to refresh our drinks, and found ourselves standing at one of those high, round, bar tables with Tim. He was clearly well into the scotch by this point. We exchanged a couple of pleasantries along the lines of what I quoted above, and then the most awesome thing happened! He goes:

"Ya know. I'm sick of people acting like their lives have all turned out soooo great! [in a falsetto] "How are you? Oh my life is so great! Everything's just great!" [fixes me with a drunken stare] Well. My life's been a roller coaster! [rolling head around to illustrate] I went to college, then I dropped out, then I tried again, and then I dropped out. [gestures with scotch in hand, sloshing drink] Then I found out I have ADD, which is probably why I couldn't ever finish. I got married, then it turns out she was a BITCH, so I got divorced. Now I drive a bus for Metro. So, no! My life hasn't been that great!

[moment of drunken silence]

Ya know. Just keepin' it real."

Oh. my. god. It was AWESOME!!!

Total fucking schadenfreude and it. was. DELICIOUS!

Tina, to her credit, was very gracious and started talking about how really, things haven't always been so great for her over the years, and what not, while I just stood there taking it all in with a big, stupid grin on my face. I mean, sure, everybody's gone through ups and downs over the last twenty years, and nobody's life is perfect, but in general, my life's pretty good. And really, I can't say that I'm too torn up about Tim L.'s life not turning out so great (see above anecdote).

Yes, I am a small, petty woman.

Later, I saw Tim across the room, arm around a women who also professed a bit of a hard luck life story. Also, quite drunk. In fact, Tim was buying her a drink while we chatted. I'm pretty sure they left together. Nothing like a drunken hook-up between bitter trainwrecks at the 20th high school reunion.

Aaaaaah, the majesty.