Sunday, May 06, 2007

I'm jealous

At this moment I'm watching Linus sit on the back patio eating a blueberry muffin. He's wearing a Batman shirt, complete with cape and utility belt, khaki shorts, and blue and red monster rain boots. He's quietly singing Twinkle Twinkly Little Star to himself. I think. Awesome!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Hi, Skeletor!



Sorry the scan sucks. You know what the best thing about that image is? The nice, clear, midline down the middle of the skull! That's what I like to see in a developing fetus, a well-defined midline.

1.8 mm

The ultrasound tech took about 4 different measurements of nuchal translucency last evening and they ranged from 1.4-1.8 mm, with a crown-to-rump length of 59 mm. So, unless my blood work comes back really anomolous, my guess is that the probability of any of the most common aneuploidies (or congenital heart defects) will actually be lower than even that based on demographic data (you know, advanced maternal age and all). In other words, YAY!

Even better, everything else looked great too. All kinds of brains, strong heartbeat, 5 fingers on each hand, everything where you'd expect it. Huge relief! The difference between how anxious I was going in vs. coming out of that ultrasound was bigger than even I thought it would be. I didn't fully realize just how wound up I was about it until I started relaxing as we looked around in there. Phew.

Turns out I didn't need to get all chippy about whether the ultrasound tech was going to be forthcoming with information. He was a really nice guy and he took us on a guided tour. Full disclosure, just how I like it. We even got a pretty cool picture of what looks like Skeletor waving at us from inside my uterus. That'll go in the scrapbook. Maybe I'll scan it and post it later.

I unleashed the circus last night by calling all of my family and infoming them. My mother already knew because last weekend was her monthly visit and she full-on asked me directly if I was pregnant. Wtf?! She caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared to lie straight to her face so I copped. She's wiley that one. She was only good for maybe one more day of discretion anyway, so we had to spill the beans.

Every single person we've told so far has said they're hoping for a girl. Friends too. Even Orion. In fact, even Linus! I asked him yesterday if he'd rather have a baby brother or sister and he said, "baby sister" (though then he said he didn't want to be a big brother he just wanted to be "a Linus", so take that how you will). Apparently I'm the only person I know who'd like me to be carrying a boy. Defer to my wishes!! We didn't find out the sex yesterday. It was a little early anyway and Skeletor wasn't cooperating.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I refuse

I'm letting you all know that I refuse to call a seminar broadcast on the internet (or intranet, as the case may be) a "webinar". I just won't do it.

Just so's you know.

Back! (and pregnant)

I just ate a turkey burger in, like, 20 seconds. I'm not kidding. I fucking INHALED it. Why? Because I'm pregnant, that's why, and I've reached that stage where I'm no longer in the driver's seat w/r/t food intake. This phase should last about another 6 months, then I'll be in charge again.

That's right, I said "pregnant". I'm in my 13th week, which means that horrible 1st trimester sleepiness should abate soon (at least until it comes back in the 3rd). We finally decided last November to try again, after many months of:

"Should we?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"Well, I guess I kinda feel like we're not done yet, what do you think?"
"Yeah, me too, but are we ready for it?"
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"I'm sleepy."
"Me too."

Repeat.

We started trying to get pregnant that December, until I realized that would mean no drinking over the Christmas holiday with family coming to visit. I put the kibosh on that right quick. Tried in January. Nothing. This caused me to immediately assume we'd waited too long and we'd never get pregnant as I was clearly no longer ovulating. I proceeded to pull a bunch of papers about pregnancy and insemination rates and what not. I know. It's what I do, ok?

Did you know that even in healthy couples trying to get pregnant (that is having daily sex at the right time) there's only a 37% probability of conceiving, and a 25% probability of having a live birth. That means that even if absolutely everything goes right, you have a 1 in 4 chance of getting viably pregnant on any given month. (I'm getting this from Wilcox, et al. 1995, "The timing of sexual intercourse in relation to ovulation" N Engl J Med 1995;333:1517-21) Most of the difference between conception rates and live birth rates happens before you even know you're pregnant. Essentially they had 221 healthy women who were trying to get pregnant pee into a cup every morning and record every time they had sex. This way they knew exactly when they ovulated, conceived, miscarried, etc.

This kind of blew my mind at first. Only 37% of women conceive even when the stars are aligned, and only 2/3 of those conceptions end in live births? Doesn't that figure seem low to you? And this was in healthy women trying to get pregnant, not any ol' women. Now I get why you have to be trying unsuccessfully for at least 6 months before the medical community will even begin to think you may have a fertility problem. Even though it is a low probability in any given month, another way to look at it is, even given that low conception rate, the probability of you not conceiving a viable pregnancy after 6 months of trying if you and your partner are healthy is only 18%. So, once I read all this I calmed down a little bit. February, we got pregnant.

Ok, enough statistics (for now). I'm due November 12th. Like my pregnancy with Linus, I feel good about this one. But given our history, I'm not going to relax or fully embrace it until I see that everything's ok. I did get to hear a heartbeat last week, and that was good, but I'm really waiting for today. Today we go in for a nuchal translucency ultrasound. This is a non-invasive, 1st/early 2nd trimester screening proceedure that they've recently started doing in this country (they've been doing it in the UK for quite awhile now). They take some blood and then measure the fetal nuchal translucency (fluid at the nape of the neck) via ultrasound. Really, anything above 2mm or so for the nt measure is associated with higher rates of some chromosomal anomalies (including trisomy 21 - Down's Syndrome) and/or some congenital heart defects depending on gestational and maternal age, and some blood chemistry markers. Blah, blah, blah, I want a nt <2mm. AND I want to see everything else looking good and that nice butterfly shaped higher brain development. That's what I'm looking for.

I'm not really worried about chromosomal anomolies, even given my "advanced maternal age" (all of 38) (mofos!), but fears about a repeat of pregnancy #1 lurk, especially given that we never found out what went wrong exactly.

And I'm not leaving that examination room without knowing the crown-to-rump length and nuchal translucency. I hope the ultrasound tech doesn't try to get all cagey about it. I get that he can't diagnose, but he can give me the friggin' numbers. There will be trouble if he tries to deny me.