Finally in labor

I am so sorry about the gap in posting! I've been all caught up in work-related stuff and haven't been paying enough attention to my 3 loyal readers.

I was due on July 14th. I knew he (we found out we were having a "he" at our last ultrasound, in case I forgot to tell you) wasn't coming early, as much as I really, really wished he would. I mean, part of me wanted to postpone his arrival for as long as possible because I was freaked out like just about all new parents about what was about to happen, but I was so sick of being pregnant towards the end. All you moms out there know what I'm talking about.

Huge, huge, HUGE! Can't breathe when I'm sitting, can't stand for more than a few minutes. Can't fit more than two bites at a time into my stomach, have to pee every hour.

You know.

And my ears! I forgot to tell you all this before, but the most consistently annoying side effect of pregnancy for me, throughout from week 1 to week 40, was that my ears were stuffed up and muffled. Aarrgh! So annoying!! Because your hormones cause your mucus membranes to get all spongy when you're pregnant (nice), a lot of women have stuffy noses the whole time. Not me. Stuffy ears. I couldn't hear anything anyone was saying. It was like I was wearing a giant marshmallow hat with earflaps. I could tip my head to the side and my hearing would clear up, but then when I tilted my head back upright, within a minute I wouldn't be able to hear again. Seriously annoying.

So, though I was scared, I was also sick of it and I really wanted to be done. But I knew he wasn't coming early. I know first-time moms tend to deliver later rather than sooner, but it could happen. Right? "Dream on, hoser," said my instincts, and they were right. At about 4 pm on my due date, I decided to take a nap. I rolled over from one side to the other at one point and felt a *pop* down there.

"Wait, what was that?"

I got up and went to the bathroom. My water broke!

"Woo hoo!"

"On the way!"

"Wait, what's that? Is that a contraction?"

"Is it?...wha?...um...no."

"Ok, I know this can take some time" (12 hours on average for a first-time mom) "but according to my calculations, I will have a new son by tomorrow morning."

"Yay!" Clap, clap, clap!

Um, not so much.

I called Fran to let her know that my water had broken, to give her a head's up. She told me to call her again when I wanted her to come over. You bet! We'd laid in all our birthing supplies weeks (sometimes months, who am I foolin') ago. Sealed bags of clean towels, lots of absorbent pads, like the kind you can use for disposable changing pads, as well as about 6 yards of that padded vinyl used for outdoor tablecloths, a whole bunch of raspberry leaf tea, and a couple of other herbal concoctions. Fran had given us a list early on. I made the bed up with clean sheets and put another clean fitted sheet over the top of everything so we could just take it off when everything was through. I puttered around the house, pausing for the occasional moderate contraction, and eventually fixed dinner. I made salmon. I remember because I eventually threw it back up. Not right away, mind you, but...yeah.

I took a shower after dinner, and settled in for the big event. My contractions eventually came on stronger and more frequently, so at about 9 pm I called Fran back and told her that I thought it was time for her to come over. I thought, "It won't be long now!"

Wrong.