Pregnant again

What is my deal, taking so long?! Blame it on the Super Bowl.

Oh, Seahawks. I was actually a little hopeful...Bah! Back to the story...

I got pregnant again on October 21, 2003. I know the date because I said, "Hon, if we're going to try to get pregnant this month, we should have sex tonight, or possible tomorrow." Yeah, that's how clock-like I was, not to mention romantic. All signs pointed to Go, and Go it was. Now that I knew what being pregnant felt like, I was pretty sure within a couple of days that I was. And lo, a couple of weeks later I peed on a stick and saw the pink stripe.

From the very beginning, I knew everything was fine with this pregnancy. Just knew it. I didn't have that feeling of dread that clung to me the first time. I wasn't full of ambivalence about being pregnant. I didn't want to be all secretive. I wasn't worried about neural tube defects. Sure, I wasn't going to fully relax until we had our first sonogram, but I knew it would be fine.

Everything about our experience this time was different. I saw Maggie once early on. No blood tests, no hormone supplements, nothing. She had us come in for an early sonogram at 9 weeks because she knew we were anxious. I think Orion was more anxious than I was. He didn't have my pregnant lady knowin'. The sonogram tech was very nice. Maggie'd told her about our history, so she knew what to do. She said, "First, see that little butterfly-shaped thing? That's the developing brain. It all looks perfect." Then she went around, declaring all the various parts "perfect". We saw the little bean's heart beat, and left with our grainy little pictures in hand, elated.

We agreed with Maggie to only see her every couple of months, mostly at milestone points, unless something was wrong, because we were seeing Fran for our regular pre-natal care. I'm telling you right now, if you can find a midwife you like, use her. We can't recommend it enough. We loved Maggie, but even a great doctor only spends maybe 15 or 20 minutes with you. They just can't spend much more than that, unless there's something requiring their attention that justifies the time. Fran would always spend over an hour with us. We saw her once a month early on, then twice a month towards the middle, then every week towards the end. She was also very available between visits, if we had any questions. A typical appointment with Fran went like this: We'd arrive, and I'd go to the bathroom and pee in a cup. She'd test it for all the usual, protein levels and the like. She'd take my blood pressure, then I'd lay down on the big bed and she'd measure my belly. Then she'd get out the Doppler and we'd listen to the heart beat. Sometimes she'd prod my belly a bit to listen for the change in heart rate. Then, she'd ask how I was doing (or sometimes she'd do that first, whatever). We'd talk about how I was feeling, sleeping, eating. Early on, she had me write down everything I ate for a week, then she went over it. We'd talk about whatever was on our minds. She had a pretty large library of pregnancy, labor and delivery, and parenting books, and we'd regularly take a couple home with us, so we always had plenty of questions. We'd talk about what was going to happen during labor, or what sort of stuff we should have on hand for the baby once he arrived. We'd even talk about how we were feeling about impending parenthood. Pretty much the definition of holistic care. We never felt like patients. She had an apprentice, Lilly, who was a professional doula. Lilly was training with Fran to become a midwife, so Fran asked if we'd mind if Lilly sat in on all our sessions. She asked when it was closer if Lilly could also attended the birth. We were happy to have her, and so we got another birth attendant at no charge. Lilly was also great. We're still in touch.

I had an uneventful pregnancy, mercifully. Most of my complaints were the usual, minor stuff - aches and pains, trouble getting comfortable in bed at night, trouble staying awake during the day, can't stand how anything smells, totally starving yet completely full-feeling at the same time. You know.

This time around, we'd planned a home birth from the beginning. A couple of the 6 of you who read this page regularly might be thinking, "What kind of crazy, granola-eating, mother-goddess-worshiping kook is she?!" Nope. Not me. I don't like granola. I've told you before that I'm all for modern medicine. I think it's great that we don't all die toothless at the age of 40. However, I also think that pregnancy and childbirth are natural processes, and unless you have some complication that warrants it, I don't think it should be managed like a disease, which is what happens to many women. Now, this is just me. You do whatever you want. I feel strongly that a woman should feel fully supported, no matter what sort of birth she has. A woman who wants to have her baby in the hospital and have an epidural should do it and feel good about it. A woman who wants to have her baby naturally in a birthing center should do it and feel good about it. Same with someone who wants to do a home birth. I'm going to say this only once, and if you want the supporting literature, I'm happy to point you to it: a planned home birth with a trained midwife in attendance is just as safe, if not safer, than a hospital birth. I'm not anti-hospital, though I don't really want to spend any time in one if I can help it (not a big fan of resistant staph). It was always our plan that if there was some reason for us to be in the hospital, then we wouldn't hesitate to go.

I could really go on at length about this stuff, but I won't. You came for the birth story, and I have yet to deliver (heh). Next post I'll actually get to the delivery, I swear!