Movies and TV

Sometimes your greatest sources of support can be your greatest sources of insecurity, you know? Many people feel that way about their parents. I may be that for Linus one day, who knows? But in this case, I'm talking about me and an online parent's support group I belong to. Well, it's online now, but it was in actual person when we lived in Lawrence (as well as being online). What? Ok, there's a group of parents in Lawrence who maintain a loose affiliation with the Attachment Parenting International Authority On How-Not-To-Parent-Like-Your-Parents, or whatever. There's a listserv, and regular playgroups, and coffees, and stuff like that. Mostly, it's a group of parents talking each other down from the freak-outs. Very Important to have that, especially for a first-time parent. You don't know what's normal, or common, or freak-worthy unless you have someone to ask. This group was my someone.

We saw a couple of the families when we were back visiting - we really miss them! I still check on the listserv regularly, just to keep in touch, especially since we haven't found a similar group here yet. There was a recent discussion on the listserv that has me questioning some of the choices we've made with regards to Linus and watching TV and movies. Now, I didn't realize I had a parenting philosophy before I had Linus, but it turns out I do. It's all mixed together with my personal philosophy of life, such as it is. I don't have a manifesto or anything, just a series of things I tell myself, when I need a reminder. Stuff like:

Don't be an asshole.

As regards parenting, this generally means that when I'm tired, or hungry, or generally pissed off at something having nothing to do with home, don't take it out on my kid. This one can be a little bit of a challenge for me because when I am tired, or hungry, or stressed, I tend to get angry easily, so the codicil to this axiom is:

Cool your jets.

Hey! I never said my philosophy wouldn't be a series of cliches, or worn-out catch-phrases! The one that's germane to this post is:

Moderation in all things (including moderation).

So, we let Linus watch TV and movies. Orion and I both like TV. And movies. Especially movies. I'm choosy about what he watches I don't just plunk him down in front of anything and walk away. Especially no commercials! He likes Blue's Clues ("Buh buh boo!") and Thomas the Tank Engine ("Tsoo-tsoo!"), and we have a bunch of movies on DVD. He loves all the one's you'd expect - Nemo, Monster's Inc., Shrek, etc. I also bought The Incredibles, but once I saw it, I realized I didn't want him watching it. Too much shooting. I'm not completely laissez faire about it. I want to do what's best for him, but I also don't want to be a freak about it, you know? Apparently I've already ruined him by letting him see any electronic media before the age of 2. There's a family in the Lawrence group who stuck to that recommendation and didn't let their little boy even see Sesame Street before he turned 2. Hell, we took Linus to his first movie when he was 18 months old. Wallace and Gromit! Awesome! And he loved it. Sat on my lap and didn't take his eyes off the screen until about the last 10 minutes when things get really crazy. Then he was ready to walk to the back of the theatre, though he didn't want to actually leave until the movie was over.

When Over The Hedge came out a couple of weeks ago, we thought, "Great! Another movie we can take him to." (Even though he's still not 2 yet! *gasp*!) I made plans, but then a discussion about it cropped up on the listserv. Some of the parents were against taking their kids because there's some cartoon-ish violence and "mean-ness". Until I read that it didn't even occur to me to not take him on account of that kind of thing. We took him anyway, even after the discussion. It was no Wallace and Gromit mind you, but he liked it ok. I don't know, maybe that makes me a bad mom. Not like criminally bad, but not stellar. The parents that had an issue with it have kids who are a little older, like 5. Maybe if Linus was that age, I'd think harder about it. I just don't think it's a big deal at this point. And, while I don't want him to turn into a violent little bully, I also don't want him to be...I don't know...somehow stunted or something because I wouldn't let him experience stuff. Especially stuff I loved as a child, and still love now. Rationalizing? Maybe. I'm not gonna lie - part of why I want to take him to movies is because I want to go to movies.

Gah. Being a parent is confusing!