2 things about TV

1. I do NOT approve of the The Price Is Right Million Dollar Spectacular Prime Time Special. You do not win a million dollars on The Price Is Right. You win a daybed, a collection of gardening equipment, a fondue set, and a supply of Hot Pockets. If you're lucky, you win a car and lose your shit on daytime, national TV. You do not win a million dollars.

The Price Is Right has been on literally for as long as I can remember. I've watched it on occasion since I was a little kid. I started watching it regularly when I was home after Luna was born. What the hell else is on weekdays that's not a soap? In fact, I still Tivo it. It's something we can watch on a rainy day with Linus. It's amazing how little there is on TV that's even remotely appealing to adults, but is also safe for a 3-year old to watch. Now I can tell you the exact retail price of a number of grocery items: Hot Pockets? $2.49. V-8 Juice? $3.15. Gold Bond Powder? $7.99; not to be confused with Gold Bond Lotion which goes for $12.99 (that mistake cost me a dining room set in the It's In The Bag game).

The furniture they give away is horrible - really, all this dark, heavy wood and a lot of tropical motifs, clearly a demographic issue though I don't think it would kill them to embrace a modern design aesthetic on occasion - but I give them props for giving away musical instruments all the time like that's exactly what people want. What other game show gives away a set of 4 electric guitars as a prize (even if they are "designed for girls", which is just a euphemism for pink, but still...)? My favorite part is when they bring out some crazy prize and ask people to price it as part of the game as if they should totally know. Like, a calliope! Are you fucking kidding me?! Who knows how much a calliope costs?? Or, a player piano, or a popcorn cart (like you might find at a fair)? Your average person might have a general idea what a refrigerator costs, or a lawn mower, but a tennis ball machine?? Hahahahaha!


2. If you aren't watching Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew on MTV you need to start watching it right now. They replay episodes 6 times a day, everyday, and I'm not kidding, so it's easy to get caught up. If you are at all a fan of urban street dance styles, or if you grew up in the 80s and maybe saw Breakin' II Electric Boogaloo in the theater you will love it! I'm telling you, kids these days and their crazy dance moves!

I don't know about you, but when somebody says, "Master Mix", I prick up my ears. I've been meaning to plug this show since we first stumbled across Season 1 back in February but never got around to it. Season 2 just started last week, so it's not too late to hook in. Most of the crews have real talent, and any show that takes poppin' and lockin' seriously is fine by me. I wish I could post a clip from last week of the Boogie Bots doing a lateral slide lift to Zapp & Roger's "More Bounce To The Ounce", but I can't find one, dammit! Just trust me and watch.

How ridiculous am I?

Linus and I had the following conversation yesterday on our drive home from work/daycare:

Linus: Mommy? I have something to tell you.
Me: Ok.
Linus: If you shoot a rhinoceros it won't die because it's so tough.
Me: Really? Who told you that?
Linus: Isaac.
Me: I don't think that's true, honey.
Linus: IT IS TRUE!
Me: It might be true in certain situations, but I think in general, if you shoot a rhinoceros, it will die.
Linus: NO IT WON'T!! ISAAC SAID!!
Me: Well, honey, I don't think Isaac knows that much about rhinoceroses.
Linus: HE DOES! ISAAC DOES KNOW!
Me: I don't think so, honey. I think I might know better than Isaac in this case.
Linus: NO! ISAAC KNOWS BETTER!
Me: How old is Isaac? 3?
Linus: Yes.
Me: Well, don't you think I might know more about rhinoceroses than he does?
Linus: NO! ISAAC KNOWS MORE ABOUT RHINOCEROSES!
Me: Really?
Linus: YES!
Me: Well, I have a Ph.D. in biology, what does Isaac have?
Linus: Nothin'!
Me: So, maybe I DO know more about rhinoceroses than Isaac.
Linus: NO! ISAAC KNOWS EVERYTHING!!
Me: I don't think he knows everything, honey.
Linus: HE DOES!! HE KNOWS EVERYTHING! ISAAC KNOWS EVERYTHING!!

So, yes, I actually tried to play the I've-got-a-Ph.D. card in an argument with a 3 year old. That's how ridiculous I am. And, how awesome of a parent.

'Who's this Isaac guy?' you might ask. 'He seems to know a lot, and he's held in high esteem by his peers. I'd like to meet him.' Well, this is the same jam-smeared kid that ran up to Linus this morning and yelled, "Hi, Poo-Poo-Ga-Ga-Go-Go Head!" Linus, of course, thought this was HIlarious.

I've got two words for you...

Doughnut muffins!

Why yes, I do have another child.

Here's picture proof:

I took this picture with my cell phone, so it's not the highest quality, but you get the idea. Sweet potatoes!! Luna started in daycare this morning. Half days to start. She's right next door, so I can go over and nurse every couple of hours, so in some ways it's better than having her at home with her dad. So far, so good, but now our monthly daycare bill is officially larger than our mortgage payment. I wish I was kidding. That's one of those things that until you have kids, you just don't get. Whenever you hear parents talking about how, along with health care and the war in Iraq, one of their top concerns is the lack of affordable, high-quality daycare. You're like, "Huh, wha? Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, I like Survivor too. Hmmm, what's that?" Then you have kids and suddenly, "What the fuck?! Why is daycare so expensive?! Why is there only one good daycare in town, and it's got a 2 year waitlist?! Am I now dependent on the unlicensed daycare down the street run by what I'm pretty sure is a meth-head?!" I'm only exaggerating a little. A very little.

Fortunately for us, once we got Linus in, Luna Bee's considered a legacy, so she got bumped to the top of the waitlist. I think she's been a little starved for other baby company, so this will be good for her social development. It's one of those things where it's hard as a parent to let go of all aspects of her interactions with other people, but then she gets to have experiences beyond what we provide for her. I know she gets bored at home at times sitting in the same spots on the floor, or the couch, with the same old toys. She was completely fixated on the other babies crawling around this morning. I'm sure she'll be crawling in a week.

Music Appreciation

Linus came home from preschool today and showed me this:


"I wrote this song for you! It goes like this...", and he proceeded to sing it for me. I just about died, it was so awesome! I asked him to sing it for me again so I could record it. Ladies and Gentlemen, Linus' vlog debut:




How great is that?! I especially like how he's actually reading it. Here is the drawing on the other side of the song; it's me and Linus under a rainbow, apparently:


Linus likes to draw his rainbows in a sort of cross-sectional view.

I was driving Linus to preschool a couple of days ago. His preschool is next door to where I work. The last few minutes of the ride he was quiet, obviously lost in thought. Once we'd arrived, as we were getting out of the car we had this conversation:

Me: What were you thinking about, Honey? The zoo? Or lunch?
Linus: I was thinking about flyer shoes.
Me: Fire shoes?
Linus: No, FLYING shoes. Like shoes that would fly, that would be like whoosh! and I would fly me up, up, up into the sky.

So, I'm not really concerned about him lacking imagination or creative drive.

In case you thought I was kidding about Linus' hat+undies bedtime wardrobe, I have picture proof:




He's half-heartedly perusing his shirt drawer because I asked him to consider wearing more. In the end he opted to go with just the pictured ensemble.