Working for The Man

Ok, I know I said just yesterday that I wasn't too interested in writing about my work, but I can't let this go by without mentioning it:

You know you're a federal employee when you get an email with the subject, "The Annual Summary of Holiday Season Gift Rules". Seriously, a hilarious, five page memo of what I can and can't give and/or receive in the way of gifts (hilarious for a variety of unintended reasons). No gifts to bosses, no gifts over $10 to coworkers, blah, blah, blah. That's fine. I get that there are ethics rules, and why we need to follow them. Doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of it. Fortunately, it's ok to receive donuts! Oh, and "other modest items of food and refreshment". I love the "modest" part. And the idea of items of refreshment. The best part, though, is that the people who wrote the memo decided to attach, "a cheerful holiday poem that succinctly summarizes these important rules". I'm not kidding! I will post the first two stanzas for you,

"The holiday season -- a time for good cheer!
For egg nog, for parties, for friends to be near.
But I must be careful
Lest I accept free
A gift not permitted, no matter how wee.

Part two six three five of the 5 CFR
Explains in detail the relevant bar.
It defines the term gift
To mean all things worth money.
That's NBA tickets or jars full of honey."

Hahahahaha! It goes on for 11 more stanzas. I'm not making this up!